Somehow I haven't started masturbating yet.

DookieShorts's picture
Submitted by DookieShorts on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 05:05

Comments

Anita Bryant's picture

Submitted by Anita Bryant on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 08:36.
Most fucked up post in a long time.
It fills me with confusion and regret. 
DookieShorts's picture

Submitted by DookieShorts on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:53.
hey, you're just like every girl i ever sleep with!
lazer_piss's picture

Submitted by lazer_piss on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 09:18.
lazer_piss
LOL, rad post.
Unitifierer's picture

Submitted by Unitifierer on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 09:56.
dicks and pussy a.m.
odysseus55's picture

Submitted by odysseus55 on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:06.
It has been a long time since I have said "What the fuck?" here on the ghetto...but What the fuck?

Le_Chapelier's picture

Submitted by Le_Chapelier on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 11:24.
woah!
Vile Calumny's picture

Submitted by Vile Calumny on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 12:00.
Vile Calumny
J. Geils Band - No Anchovies Please

This is the story of a young couple in Portland, Maine. While waiting for her husband Don to return home from work, she reaches for a can of anchovies. As she spreads the tiny fish across a piece of lettuce, she notices a small note at the bottom of the can. Written on it is a telephone number. Curious, she dials, and is told, "Don't move, lady, we'll be right over." Placing the phone back on the hook, she turns to see three smartly dressed men standing in her kitchen doorway. Before she realizes what is happening to her, she is rolled tightly in long sheets of cellophane, transported to an international airport, and placed on a waiting jet-liner. All this being too much for her to comprehend, she passes out. Upon awakening, she finds herself in a strange, foreign speaking nation ("Dalas nekcihc dna tihs nekcihc neewteb ecnereffid eht wonk ot suineg a ekat t'nseod ti."). Alone, fearing her escape impossible, she seeks comfort in the arms of a confidential agent. With the trace of her kiss still warm upon his lips, he betrays her to the hands of three scientists who are engaged in diabolical, avant-garde experiments previously performed only on insects and other small, meaningless creatures. Using her as their subject, they are delighted with the results. For the first time, a human being is transformed into a ("shhh... it's secret").

Meanwhile, back in Portland, Maine... Her husband Don, now chain-smoking 40 packs of cigarettes a day, sits at a local bar and has a few beers with the regulars. Bored, everyone's attention turns to the television set that just hangs from the wall. ("Welcome to Bowling for Dollars"). Suddenly, crazy Al says, "S-say, Don, there sure is something familiar about that bowling ball." To which a terrified Don replies, "Oh my God! That bowling ball! It's my wife!" And the lesson we learn from this story is, next time you place your order, don't forget to say, "No anchovies please."


Dharmakid's picture

Submitted by Dharmakid on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 12:27.
The penis comic....so fucking weird.
Great post though. Posts like these are what made me fall in love with the ghettoez
goldensyrup's picture

Submitted by goldensyrup on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 12:37.
SG Task Forcegoldensyrup
Thank you
DookieShorts's picture

Submitted by DookieShorts on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:45.
you're welcome!
laketrash's picture

Submitted by laketrash on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 13:14.
T̴̸̛̝̹̗̝̪̗̺̓̓̏̅̽ͅḤ̱ͫͬ͗̾͑͗́͠͠Ë̻̗̲͖́̉͒Y̹̪̻͉͔̺̹̎ͬ͊͛̈́͝ ̇͐͏̛̘̠͈C̶̯̻̰̻̅͒̃͞Ȍ͕̱͙̻͓̠̣̞ͥ̾͐͊̀͟͝M̡̢̮͓͍̹͔̙̜̫̎͑ͫͭ͊ͨ̽̂È̷̜͇̠̣͙ͪ̎͢ͅ
DookieShorts's picture

Submitted by DookieShorts on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:44.
T͖̼̼̖͗H͍͓̝̣͎ͮͤ́ͣͅẼ͍̜̭̠̲̦͍́͒̈̈́͂̓Y̪͇̩ͬ ͎͔̘̰̯͕̻̀̈̽̑ͩͨN̙̦̣̳͓̔ͩ̇̽̆ͣ́̚Ȍ͙͕̻̒ͤ͐̏̄͋̀̌W͔̳̝͚̜̯̤ͭ͗̒̓̓̑̇ͨ ̬̫͔̫̝̰͖̣ͭ̎ͥ̄͐ͧͩͦH̦̜̱̪͈̹̏̐̐́̾A͈̘̠̲͓͎ͧͮ̀̚V͓̗̭̳̰ͨ̄̆ͧ̅́ͮͮE̙͉̟ͫ̇́ͥͮ͒͂ ̪͓̺̰̾́ͧ͌ͦ̈̍̚T̗̼ͧ̓̅̋̑̾͒̋Ḫ͕̻͍̹͖̪͔ͯ̍ͪͣ̾̚E̘͔̘̖͕̗̹͓͒̀́ͤͭ̈͌̿ ͇̘̬̗͍̈ͨ͌̒P͈͐͑̈̈́̐ͣ̑͊͌O̝͓̗̬͙͆͐ͤ̑̋ͧͬ̐R͇͉̓ͤͫ̈́̄̽̇ͥN̮̬͗ ͎͈͋̎̍̈T͎̮̯̊̿ͦ́̋ͅO̘̤̝͕͈͑̀ͫ͌ͣ̒̉ ͍̯̏̄M̗̺̭̝̙͙̗͛͊̅Ạ̫̗̭̗͋̓̏S͇̙̲͓̬ͬͧT̬̭̺̥̫̊̚Ȗ̦̞̩͕̗̭̟̰̈ͦͧR͚̫̩ͫ̉̄̏ͯ̈̂B̤̘̺̼̭̥̝͚̅ͦ̈́̚A̘͕̦̩ͥ̎T͉̣̪̯̟̬͉͔͑̋̂̏͗̊͒ͦ̌Ẽ̞͕͎̩̪̲̬͙̃̔̆̉ ͉͕̮̟̀T̖̲̼͓͂O̳̠̱͙͚ͦ̌̇͆ͩͨͨ͌ͅ.̝͖̣̗͑
Black_Talon's picture

Submitted by Black_Talon on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 13:33.
Black_Talon
great post
DookieShorts's picture

Submitted by DookieShorts on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:43.
why thank you!
_ ghetto's picture

Submitted by _ ghetto on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 13:50.
amazing. did you shop it or find it?

DookieShorts's picture

Submitted by DookieShorts on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:42.
found it with my internet dredging skillz. actually, i almost pooped myself with glee when i ran across these pics and came to the conclusion that they hadn't been posted recently enough, if at all, to call them reposts.
Vile Calumny's picture

Submitted by Vile Calumny on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 21:17.
Vile Calumny
Yeah, I think this might have been posted.... but like at least one server ago, so even if it is a repost, it's basically not.
vulture capitalist's picture

Submitted by vulture capitalist on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 14:32.
vulture capitalist
Nightmare fuel
spaceghetto's picture

Submitted by spaceghetto on Thu, 02/28/2013 - 06:31.
that.  was.  awesome!  terrifying, but awesome! 

proper job, m'boy!
the_adriator's picture

Submitted by the_adriator on Thu, 02/28/2013 - 11:18.
Wow, great job.
minkyyy's picture

Submitted by minkyyy on Sat, 03/02/2013 - 00:11.
gosh those are the best manipulations i've ever seen.  i want to try and do some of those
someone should make a banner with themdo you know the artist who did them?
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